July 19, 2017 Chinny 3Comment

I know it’s too early to have taken a blog break but with so many beautifully designed blogs out there, I got totally hooked on trying to make mine look better. It’s only been a month so I’ve decided to give it time and focus on content for now. So funny how I’m such an aesthetic person but when I’m trying to do any graphic design for my blog, it’s an epic fail! Can you imagine that a friend put me through something I had been trying to learn for a whole week and in a few minutes, I figured it all out. In this digital age of self learning, I don’t understand why this is still my learning style! Na wa oh. Any tips on how I can become a better self learner? Biko, drop a comment.

Enough ranting, let’s move ahead to talking about love love love! A little disclaimer before we go ahead…this is not just another blog post dishing out relationship advice but with so many relationship fails around, I figured it won’t hurt to discuss some basics.#ChinnysImperio dating image freestocks.org

Speaking of relationships, my last ended over two years ago but your girl has done a good job of investing emotional capital here and there. My friends, lovely and annoying at the same time, would say things like “How do you keep up with all these people?” “Which of the husbands are you talking about this time?” “You have energy sha”…. Anyways, that’s in the past now! Amen?

So on this amazing day, I was with some nice guy who was ‘professing’ love to me profusely (catch the word play? hahahaha). He left me in the car to pick something from his house or so. For some weird reason, I called my friend up (lifeline 101) and asked her how she’d know a guy really loved her and her response was like bang bang bang!

Remember that popular Scripture about love? 1 Corinthians 13 says it all! Honestly, if we could all follow God’s Word thoroughly, our world would definitely be a better place. Pick that person who’s telling you how much they’re in love with you and see if their fruits align with 1 Corinthians 13. You have to personalise it yourself and evaluate the vibes you give.

…On love being kind

Hmmm, this is a huge one for me. I love to have a good time, eat a nice meal and do something fun. Life is already stressful and of course, there’s nothing wrong with having a good laugh. However, I noticed that I was giving way too much room to people and I really had to cut it! So because we had a few good times, we gonna be kissing and touching now? Holluppppp!

Well, one key thing I’ve NOW learnt is that spending money does not equate kindness! The first time I heard this was in the King Women episode that featured Jumoke Adenowo. There, she said that “the fact that a man spends so much on you doesn’t necessarily mean that he’s generous, he might just have a lot of money to spare!”

For me, the way a potential partner treats others when they’re upset is so important. What happens when they don’t get what they want from you? It doesn’t even have to be about money. How do they share their time? Are they genuinely listening to your ideas to add their two cents and pray with you?

Patience is a virtue right?

patience in love

I am generally not a patient person! It’s so hard to sit for two full hours glued to a movie. I’m like can we start fast forwarding this already? Why can’t my internet be faster? Why is my computer’s cursor dancing round and round? These things bother me but I promise I’m working on it. I promise I promise I am.

Anyways, patience is sort of deeper with relationships. Some things like getting to know someone better takes time. How do you/they make decisions? Bother to take a moment to pray about it and wait on God? Does this person you’re considering give you room to give your opinions? Do they chill?

 …do not make friends with a hot-tempered person, do not associate with one easily angered

Yes, I just had to find an appropriate Scripture (Proverbs 22:24) to address this! There’s so much domestic violence going on around and nobody deserves to be a victim. We really have to be very watchful and prayerful not to get entangled in the wrong loop. Do they raise their voice all the time? Or hit you sometimes and you keep thinking ‘oh they’ll change?’

I remember one time I went on a road trip with this guy I thought would be my boyfriend. We were going to a nice beach in another city from school and I was super excited! We got there and while I just wanted to enjoy the nice atmosphere and have fun with everyone, he wanted more intimacy and made an attempt to kiss me. I wasn’t going to let anyone ruin my mini vacation! So, I harmlessly and politely walked away from him and joined the rest of the group. The young man didn’t say a word to me on the trip back to school. We got back late and he had to drop me in my hostel (nice right? He could have told me that wasn’t his way but he invited me on this trip so yeaahhh?). Well, we picked my friend on the way back to my hostel and he barely said hi to her! I’m like we’re not even dating yet and you’re giving me this nasty attitude…boy bye!

You need to watch yourself too! For example, I know that I can be quick to dismiss things I can’t stand. However, I know there’s a thin line between being quick to anger and being irritable, so, I started being intentional about my tolerance.

GOD is LOVE…never forget this!

Me when a guy trynna waste my time…you should adopt this too:

There you have it! Have you seen red flags in the past and you were like no no no? Drop your comments below….

Thanks for stopping by.




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